Last night I had a dream I was being chased by a dinosaur. I woke up at about 3am and googled what it meant and promtly fell back to sleep.
I woke up to see on my phone that according to Google being chased by a dinosaur in a dream means your subconscious is basically saying face this giant thing you fear that you've been running away from.
Which I have now been thinking about all day.
Which giant fear am I SUPPOSE to face?
The last two weeks I feel like I have been living the "do one thing every day that you are afraid of."
Most of the time it's confronting someone or making important phone calls about moving. (I hate talking to people-it terrifies me). I drove 2 hours each away for my interview. (Driving horrifies me). I had to quit two jobs in one week-ive never quit a job before. Either it was work study and I graduated or when I was in high school and cleaning for the sweet old lady down the street she passed away. I've never had to quit before-that confrontation scared me(they both went really well though I surprised the one didn't flip sh!t on me).
So what is the giant fear I am running from?
Then I started thinking about how what is terrifying to one person is enjoyable to another. Most people a relaxed by driving. Phone calls don't actually terrify some people.
And that led me to thinking what do the people who aren't afraid of little things do that scares them everyday?
Or! Are we all actually scared of small little things and just pretending to not be?
Is everyone just taking it until we make it?
I think it's SUPER common to fake it till you make it. Although I do think anxiety makes things difficult, because I stress SO MUCH about stupid things that others don't even think twice about?? Also, I think it's super common for everyone to feel like they're an impostor and someone's waiting for them to find out. I know you didn't mention that in your blog, but I've been thinking about that also. One of my profs mentioned even SHE feels that way and she has a phD!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on being able to adult, Bridgette! It's a brave thing, seriously. Especially if you were unhappy and the changes you're making are for your future. I'm very proud of you. :)
Phone calls and driving aren't fun. And for quitting! I've been known to procrastinate for weeks on handing in a notice. Good for you for facing them when they scare you! I think everyone has something that scares them, but maybe they're not as anxious in general? I'm not sure. I'm a pretty high-anxiety person, so I can't relate to relaxed people too much, hah. My husband is a pretty relaxed person though, and even he has things he's scared of! I'm not sure if he could successfully push himself to do one thing that scared him every day though. He's not scared of many things. Going to the dentist or the doctor everyday probably isn't an option, lol. Those are his two main anxiety areas.
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